The Most Ironic Piece of Writing Ever

Now before you read on, just know, that I know.

When you reach the end of this article you’ll have a point to make. I’m tactically placing this warning here because I’m 100% aware you’ll make this point.

In fact if you make it through this whole thing, and fail to reach this idea, I’ll be very surprised. Even a little worried for you.

It’s actually a bloody good point to be honest, so believe me when I say I am fully alert and mindful of this particular circumstance.

In summary, in case any of the above was unclear:

I know.

OK I’m about to type my critical point. If at any time between you reading the first and last words of this incoming statement, you think the thought you’re undeniably going to conjure up in your mind-cauldron at some point during this article, just keep reading.

Because I know.

Here it is:

We should spend less time on the internet reflecting, wishing, posting and blogging, and more time doing.


I know. Please let me finish.

While I internet, I always end up thinking “wouldn’t that be nice” and “aww I should try that” not to mention “how come this never happens to me with my friend’s mum?”

It looks like everyone else is enjoying all the complex wonders the universe brings, while I lean on pillows propped up on the wall, hunched over a screen in bed, silently judging.

What I should be doing is more fun new things. Random adventures, exploring places I’ve never been and attempting activities I haven’t tried. Not watching everybody else do them. Unfortunately if we were to look at a pie-graph of my average day, it’s a sad sight.

best pie

Obviously not cutting down on essentials like work, sleep and bacon, I spend way more time watching and stalking on the interwebs then I do experiencing fun new things. This should not be.

I get so fired up and ready to do things whenever I read about a place or see someone else do something cool online, yet the amount of time I spend on my ass up to fuck-all stays the hefty slice of pie it is.

Why? First up it’s less socially acceptable to do random fun things by yourself, you need others to share the experience. Who’s gonna hold the camera when you pose? Selfie sticks only reach so far.

We rely on others who also have their own busy lives, and all a sudden it’s in the too hard box. Because although physically cities have people living closer together, we are more distant than ever before.
Combine that with limited resources like time and money, once again we leave webbing as the best option.

Since we don’t have unlimited time, money, and keen counterparts to go randomly adventuring with, we try as hard as we can to live vicariously through others. Which should leave me feeling happy for everyone I witness who is living life how I want, but hey I’m a flawed, insecure human being. Sue me.

So I end up brewing jealousy, and am left wondering why I thought it was a good idea. Only very rarely do I get off social media thinking “wow what a constructive, valuable use of my time.”


“I can’t believe this person went to another country to consume alcohol! How refreshing.”

Thus the conundrum I find myself in today.

Don’t get me wrong the internet is great, it makes communicating with friends easy, I’m exposed to whole new communities otherwise unreachable, videos that leave you in complete hysterics, there are so many benefits but I just find myself on it too much. Reading about the life I want to live instead of living it.

Maybe I should start a group where like-minded individuals can meet up and do random cool shit that isn’t limited to one particular activity. A club for people who simply want to live more life, and squeeze every moment from it like a lemon life gave them.

Or I should just accept that we aren’t at war, we have way less poverty than a lot of the world, and first world problems like getting facebook furious should be sucked up, accepted and ignored.

I know there’s action to be taken here! But where should I start?

Guess I’ll blog about it.

I know. I know.


3 thoughts on “The Most Ironic Piece of Writing Ever

  1. “The too hard box” hahaha! Get on and go do some fun new things so we can live vicariously through you. That’s what the Internet is for. I think. And for sharing pie charts of our pork privileges : ). Yay bacon!


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