FOMOOTS – (Why Winter is Colder Now)

I can literally see my breath in my room, as I huddle under three blankets and a sleeping bag. Like so many (now probably dead) Game of Thrones characters have said before me:

“Winter is arriving quickly.”

Recently I’ve felt the cold of the chilly season way more than usual. Is it because I am way busier than I used to be? Working has made me appreciate my free time a lot more, so maybe I take more notice if the weather’s crap?

Could it be my new overpriced upper-middle-lower-class inner-city flat and its underwhelming insulation?

Or could it be global warming is really just a conspiracy like the moon landing or Nicolas Cage’s career and the world is actually getting colder and somehow it’s Donald Trump’s fault?

Those reasons may add to it, but I’ve found the root to this new found freeze: Fomoots. Fear of missing out on the sun.

Social media has turned life into a global pissing contest. All summer we selfie, we tag and we remind everyone: “Hey look I’m at a picturesque place too! I have friends! Accept me!

Guilty....

Guilty….

Combine that with how we humans are selfish creatures. Every time we see a post about a beautiful beach, or attractive human we instantly make it about ourselves. “Why aren’t I there?” “Why don’t I look like that?”

Plus the social media we consume is designed to only show the highlights of everything. So no, you’re wild Harry Potter movie marathon night isn’t gonna get the airtime you wanted. (Plus you barely made it past the 3rd movie, Hermione wasn’t even hot yet.)

It's weird because she's gonna get so fine in like, two years...

It’s weird because she’s gonna get so fine in like, two years…

The problem now is that it’s the Northern Hemisphere’s turn to enjoy summer, and ramp up the jelly. As we freeze, photos and videos of beautiful people, at the most beautiful places on Earth, enjoying beautiful weather, all flood in. As they drunkenly dance to the Earth’s best music, they seemingly slur: “I bet you wish you were here!” While we cling to blankets like Tom Hanks clung to Wilson, to then drive to and from work in darkness, ironically listening to “This Summer ‘s Gonna Hurt” by Maroon 5 on the radio.

It’s like a lap-dance. You get a taste, but leave frustrated and somehow end up at Burger King. Regrettably we’ve become so exposed to this concentrated stream of never-ending highlights that it’s so normal to feel envious we barely realise it’s happening. If I had never ever consumed social media, and then instantly began to at the rate in which I do now, I’d lose faith in humanity quicker than Flavor Flav at a clock-breaking convention run by the KKK.

Yeahhh boyyyy Briscoes had a clock sale!

Yeahhh boyyyy scored this at Briscoes!

We are not used to this. We are the generation who grew up without internet, and have now woken up in a world reliant on it. The best way through the cold is to accept.

Accept that we have limited time and resources to do these amazing things, and cannot magically win lotto and teleport to Tomorrowland.

Accept that if our planet didn’t have routine, and everybody just yolo’ed it all the time society would eventually collapse.

Accept that for wood-choppers, heater distributors and pro snowboarders their lives would probably be a lot different without winter.

Accept that just because America looks like they have awesome pool parties right now, remember that they have their own issues… like it rhymes with the riddle-yeast… and they don’t have jelly tip chocolate.

Right now a hot water bottle, cup of milo and the rest of Harry Potter three is all I need.

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